Veteran actor, producer, and director Antar Laniyan shares insights on what fatherhood has taught him in an interview with Gbenga Adeniji.
What does fatherhood mean to you?
Fatherhood, to me, means being responsible as a father to your kids, wards and wife.
When did you become a father?
I became a father some 20 years ago.
Did you witness the birth of your children?
I was on set shooting a movie titled, Strange Woman, with Joke Silva and Andy Amenechi directed it. That was when my first boy was born. I witnessed the birth of the second boy.
How did you feel being in the labour room to witness your wife give birth?
One has to be strong. I was determined to be there and I saw it all.
What have been your challenges as a father?
God has always been in control. But let me say that not being at home to keep them company because of the nature of my job at times does not go well with me.
Was the gender of your children what you preferred?
I couldn’t dictate to God. Today, I am grateful to God.
What were your fears before marriage?
My fears before marriage were having enough time for the family because of the passion I have for my job.
How have you been able to combine your career with your roles as a father?
When I made up my mind to get married, I knew I had to create time for my family because first, I didn’t want my wife to regret marrying an actor. Secondly, I prefer being close to my wife and children.
How do you discipline your kids whenever they misbehave?
I hate the use of the rod; so, most of the time, I talk to them whenever they go wrong. Besides, we are too close for me to use a stick to flog them.
You are a busy actor. How do you create time for your family?
I write down my movements in my diary. I always create resting periods. My resting dates play dual roles. I use them to rest and play with my family.
Do your children watch the movies you feature in and what do they say about them?
They do watch my movies and they don’t hide their feelings if they are not convinced about the roles.
Is any of your children following in your career path?
My children are bending towards entertainment. I cannot force them. I just pray to God to guide them.
What values did you learn from your father which are helping you in training your children?
My father, I. A. Laniyan, was full of discipline. He would always tell one to be focused and see beyond the moment. He was a man full of policies and love for his children.
How do you reward the good deeds of your children?
I reward the good deeds of my children by buying them good gifts to encourage them to do better.
How do you relax?
I relax by creating time to be with my family and staying at home with them.
What kind of songs do you listen to?
I enjoy listening to reggae and slow love songs. I like the songs of Jimmy Cliff, Bob Marley, Dolly Parton, Dele Abiodun, KI, King Sunny Ade and Ebenezer Obey, including juju and fuji.
You always speak English in Yoruba movies. How would you react to this concerning the expected language of expression in such movies?
Most of the Yoruba movies in which I speak English are determined by the directors. I have to obey the dictates of my directors. Theatre rules say so.
How do you cope with your female fans?
I always appreciate them and try not to step beyond my bounds.
What would you wish to do differently as a father?
I am giving my children good education as it is and that’s the best legacy.
How do you appreciate your wife for keeping the home anytime you aren’t around?
I buy whatever things she needs for her though she knows my limit. I mean she knows what I can afford.
Is Antar Laniyan the actor different from Antar Laniyan the father?
I am very different. Antar Laniyan the actor is very strict on the job. He doesn’t play around when he has a job to do. He is an iron-fisted disciplinarian. But he is very soft at home. He is friendly, fatherly and loving. He is another ‘boy’ in the house.
What prepared you for fatherhood?
Instructions from my parents and taking after my father prepared me for fatherhood. Of course, I have cousins who still run good homes.
What advice do you give your kids about relationship?
I tell my kids to look before they leap. I also advise them to study their partner, her home and people. I ask, “Are you welcome in that house? If not, return home to daddy.”
What is your view about the nation’s movie industry?
My view about the nation’s movie industry is that we will get there. We only need to grow technically; we are not near the target yet
What is your most memorable moment as a father?
My labour room experience was my most memorable moment as a father. From that moment, I realised more what motherhood is all about.
What advice would you give would-be fathers?
I advise would-be fathers to be really prepared. They should be ready before they venture into matrimony. One must have the shoulders of a superman to carry the burden of marriage.
What would you have become if you aren’t an actor?
I would have been a soldier if I am not an actor.
Why would you have become a soldier if you aren’t an actor?
I was once staying in an army barrack – 202 Battalion in Ilaro, Ogun State. I loved the uniform and the parade, the training, the discipline and everything about them. Also, I love the respect soldiers accord to superior ones.
You are an indigene of Osun State and a promoter of culture. How often do you take your children to your hometown?
I take my children to my hometown often.
You always rock a part-in after a haircut. Is it an identity statement or just a style?
It is the way my father had his haircut. Also, it is has become a style for me.
What parenting roles do you think are responsible for bad upbringing noticeable in society today?
One of the things responsible for bad upbringing today is broken marriage. Couples should avoid it because it will definitely affect the children.
What gives you joys as a father?
What give me joy as a father is to watch my kids doing well academically.
What movie role would you describe as the most challenging and the best so far for you?
All the roles I have played are challenging because most of them demand serious homework. Only my fans and critics can tell which one is my best.
What is your view about paternity leave?
It doesn’t make sense to me when I consider where I belong, Africa. The man goes to the farm and farm. The woman makes babies. Better still, they both go to the farm to farm.
How best do you think fathers can train their kids to become responsible adults?
A good father should set good examples because children believe what they see. If you hit their mother, they take that to be a good thing. They will think mothers need to be flocked like goats.
What greatest gift would you say your kids have given you for your fatherly roles?
The greatest gift my children gave me was to write a letter to me on my birthday. I cherished it. They read the letter to me on that day.
How many kids do you have?
Haa! To mention that, in Yorubaland?